Chris Antista
Considered the father of the TalkRadar podcast, Chris "Fanny" Antista has appeared in more TalkRadar episodes than any other host. Many of his psychological problems root from when he was "a little shit", as his father used to drink too much and his mother was very, very promiscuous. This is why Mr. Antista drinks all the time and is willing to put out for anybody who asks. His very first life stories include the time when he pissed on his shirts, drawers, and bowls when he was drunk (which may have happened up to 3 times), and he wore one of the piss stained shirts to work the very next day (TalkRadar 1). Chris is often described by his fans as smelling like pizza, with the phrase "Chris Antista, smells like pizza." Recently however, his coworkers described his aroma as more of a calzone smell. Growing up, Chris was gay until he was 5. He has been on record saying that he liked how trapper keepers tied other boy's asses together. At the age of 15 he shoplifted a copy of Donkey Kong Country 3 from a Wal-Mart (TalkRadar 19). This resulted in Chris being beaten by cops with nightsticks and maced in the face and hands. When he wasn't shoplifting, he could be found fapping loudly in his "special chair," in one instance, he had forgotten that his mom and grandpa were on the phone, and they heard the whole thing. Despite liking to brag about his shitting, burping and fart exploits, he is shy about taking massive dumps in public restrooms when people are around ("shit-shy") (TalkRadar 21) and possessed shit-mittens for a short period of time. Chris Antista has fart stories that are second to none. His feats include playing wacky sound effects, farting in front of a pregnant woman, and popping an Auschwitz, which involves multiple farts while exiting an elevator and hotboxing at least 2 people. Unlike other people at work, more than 75% of his co-workers (and also Twitter followers) have seen his hairy balls at least once. In college, Chris Antista was a Chinese food delivery boy. During this time he witnessed a dog shit on its own (remarkably huge) balls, and had a knife pulled on him by an angry customer in a dispute over twenty cents while delivering food. Although he had some tough times, he also has called the events of 9/11 "the greatest get out of school and work excuse ever" in TalkRadar 27, and also used the event to make the incredibly tasteless, yet hilarious, joke "Terrorists, WIN" using Counter Strike sounds. In TalkRadar 38, Chris Antista tells a story about when he, significantly drunk after watching The Goonies after midnight, was walking through the Castro district in San Francisco and was molested by a European man that sounded very much like Niko Bellic. Chris Antista, while being a significantly flawed human being, has his moments. Chris has been fist fucked every time he has entered a airport. His split personalities include the glass-pants-wearing Duke Lombardi, wrestler extraordinaire Bonsoir, The Norwegian King Of Names, and most recently, Alf Pacino. Also, he is the official GamesRadar champion of Dick Jenga. Due to Chris' delusion that he can give zombies concussions, GamesRadar has assigned Chris to the official "live bait" position in the event of a zombie outbreak. Notable Work GALACTIC EXCLUSIVE: We've got GTA IV! 6 Reasons why kids should play GTA The Top 7... Fictional Presidents Twitter: @CAntista